Digital Guide
My Child is Dating a Mormon
A Parent’s Guide to Loving Well, Asking Better Questions, and Pointing to Jesus
Table of Contents
“My daughter has been dating a young man who is LDS. At first, we weren’t too worried because she told us she wasn’t interested in joining his church. But now they’re engaged, planning to get married soon, and she recently told us she was baptized into the LDS church. We love her. We care about him. We don’t want to panic or push them away. But we’re deeply concerned. What should we do?”
Questions like this are painful because they aren’t just theological. They’re personal.
This is your child. This is someone your child loves. Maybe this is someone you’ve come to care about, too. Maybe he’s kind. Maybe she’s respectful. Maybe their family has welcomed your child warmly. Maybe you can see exactly why your child is drawn to them.
And that may be part of what makes this so hard.
Many parents in this situation are asking two questions at the same time.
First, “How do I keep the door open with my child?”
Second, “How do I tell the truth about something that matters eternally?”
Both questions matter.
Some parents have watched a child’s relationship with an LDS boyfriend or girlfriend slowly become a wall between them. They may feel excluded from spiritual conversations, major decisions, temple-centered family expectations, or even a wedding ceremony they cannot attend. They may worry about future grandchildren being raised in a faith they do not share. They may wonder whether their place in their child’s life is becoming smaller.
That pain is real.
But the deeper concern is spiritual. Biblical Christianity and LDS teaching differ in significant ways, especially when it comes to who God is, who Jesus is, what grace means, how sinners are saved, and what gives us confidence before God. Those differences matter for dating, marriage, worship, future children, and eternal hope.
This guide is not written to help you control your child’s decision. It’s written to help you respond with love, ask better questions, open the Bible together, and keep pointing to Jesus. The goal is to help your child practice biblical discernment as they think about love, faith, marriage, and eternal life.
And remember, Jesus is not absent from this situation. He works powerfully through his Word, and he often works through difficult situations we never would have chosen.
My Child is Dating a Mormon
These conversations rarely happen all at once. Download the guide to keep a copy nearby for prayer, study, note-taking, and future conversations with your loved one.
Your First Job Is Not to Panic
Concern is understandable. Relationships are powerful. Marriage is serious. Faith is not a small part of life.
So yes, be concerned, but don’t panic.
Panic won’t protect your child’s faith. Contempt won’t make the gospel clearer. And treating the person your child is dating as a threat will probably make honest conversation harder.
You may feel worried, confused, or overwhelmed. Those emotions are real, but they do not need to lead you. They do not need to pull you away from the real mission of loving your child, speaking the truth, and sharing the biblical gospel.
Panic says, “I have to control this.” Faith says, “God is still at work.”
Panic says, “If I don’t fix this right now, all hope is lost.” Faith says, “God’s Word is powerful, God’s grace is real, and God loves my child even more than I do.”
At the same time, not panicking doesn’t mean minimizing what’s happening.
Dating and marriage carry deep spiritual importance in LDS teaching and culture. Latter-day Saints often speak about “eternal families.” To Christian parents, that may sound like a simple belief that families will be together in heaven. But in LDS teaching, eternal family is closely connected to obtaining exaltation.
That means a serious Latter-day Saint may not be looking only for a kind, compatible spouse. He or she may be looking for someone who can enter the temple with them, make and keep LDS covenants with them, raise children in the LDS church, and pursue exaltation together.
That creates real pressure in a dating relationship. If the LDS person is serious about their faith, a religiously divided marriage may feel difficult or even impossible to imagine. Not because they are trying to hurt your child. Not because their love is fake. But because they may have been taught to see marriage, temple worship, family, and eternal life as deeply connected.
They may genuinely love your child and also long for a future where they share the same faith, worship in the same temple, raise children in the LDS church, and pursue what they understand to be God’s best together.
That is not a bad desire. In many ways, it may come from love, loyalty, family hopes, and a sincere desire to honor God. But it is also not the same as a biblical understanding of marriage, salvation, or eternal life. Christian parents should understand that difference clearly without assuming the worst about the person their child loves.
Your child may think, “We love each other, so we can work this out.” The LDS person may also be thinking lovingly and sincerely, but from within a very different spiritual framework. Those two expectations may not become clear until the relationship becomes more serious.
Remember, the person your child is dating is a real person loved by God. They may be kind, moral, devoted to family, and serious about their faith. They may also be carrying questions, pressure, or doubts they’ve never felt safe enough to say out loud.
Love doesn’t panic. But love also doesn’t shrug.
Take this seriously. Pray. Listen. Learn. Ask careful questions. Speak with love. And keep bringing the conversation back to Jesus.
More Resources for You
Start by Keeping the Door Open
When you first find out your child is seriously dating someone who is LDS, or that they’re considering engagement, marriage, baptism, or joining the LDS church, you may feel pressure to say everything at once.
Resist that urge.
Your first response matters.
Don’t interrogate. Don’t attack the person your child is dating. Don’t turn the first conversation into a full debate about LDS teaching. If your child feels cornered, they may stop listening before you ever get to the concerns that matter most.
That doesn’t mean you should be silent. It means your first words should make another conversation more likely.
Your first response should do a few simple things:
Tell your child you love them.
Show that you want to understand before you respond.
Acknowledge that you care about the person they’re dating.
Be honest that you have serious spiritual concerns.
Ask for more conversation instead of trying to say everything at once.
You don’t need a perfect speech. A simple sentence may be enough:
“I love you. I want to understand. I do have serious concerns, but I don’t want this to turn into a fight. Can we keep talking about it?”
That kind of response doesn’t compromise the truth. It makes room for the truth to be heard.
If you’ve already reacted badly, you don’t need to pretend it didn’t happen. Apologize plainly. You don’t need to overexplain yourself. You might say,
“I’m sorry. I let my worry come out as anger. I shouldn’t have spoken that way. I do want to talk about this, but I want to do it with love.”
That may feel humbling, but it’s also deeply Christian. Because Jesus has already handled your sin completely, you don’t have to defend a sinful reaction. You can confess it and move forward as a forgiven child of God.
If you want your child to hear about Jesus’ grace, let them see that grace in the way you speak.
Ask Before You Assume
Once the door is open, become curious before you draw conclusions.
Your child may be drawn to this person for reasons that are not shallow or foolish. They may admire their kindness, consistency, family life, moral seriousness, or commitment to faith. They may also be asking real questions about God, Jesus, grace, worship, family, and eternal life.
Do not assume your child is only being careless, emotional, or naive. They may be thinking more deeply than you realize.
They may also be confused. They may not yet understand the differences between LDS teaching and historic biblical Christianity. They may hear familiar words like Jesus, grace, salvation, and eternal life and assume those words mean the same thing. Or they may know there are differences and not know how to sort them out.
So slow down and ask.
One of the best ways to begin is simply to ask your child to help you understand.
Do not turn the conversation into a quiz. Start smaller. Ask what they have noticed, what they find meaningful, what they understand so far, and where they still have questions.
You might ask:
“What have you learned so far?”
“What do you find compelling?”
“What questions do you still have?”
“How do you think their beliefs are similar to or different from what we believe?”
Those kinds of questions lower defensiveness. They help you understand what your child actually thinks. They may reveal thoughtful reflection, confusion, spiritual hunger, or that your child is responding more to the relationship, the family, or the community than to the doctrine itself.
Remember, your child has more influence in this relationship than you do. Most of the spiritual conversations will not happen with you in the room. They may happen on a walk, in a car, or over a meal when the two of them are talking honestly about the future.
That means part of your role is to help your child practice discernment, not just to tell them what you think. Discernment is more than spotting what is wrong. It means learning to ask,
“What is true? What does God say? Does this teaching point me to Jesus as the substitute who has already done everything for me, or mainly as the example I must follow to become worthy? Where does this lead my heart to look for peace with God?”
Open the Bible with them. Help them learn how to speak about Jesus, grace, forgiveness, and eternal life in a way that is both clear and kind.
Asking your child to help you understand doesn’t mean your child has become the expert. It doesn’t mean you are setting aside your convictions. It means you’re refusing to argue against a simplified version of what LDS believe. You are inviting your child to think carefully, speak honestly, and compare what they are hearing with what God says in his Word.
Understand the Appeal Before You Critique It
There are reasons many young adults are drawn to LDS people and communities.
They may see close families, active church involvement, strong friendships, and a clear sense of belonging. If your child has felt lonely, disconnected, or unseen, that kind of community can be especially attractive.
They may also be drawn to outward morality and consistency. Many LDS young people are respectful, disciplined, family-oriented, and serious about their faith. Your child may admire someone who seems committed to clean living, service, religious practice, and family life.
Those are not bad things to notice.
In fact, it is good for parents to recognize what their child finds admirable instead of dismissing it. If your child says, “You just don’t understand,” and the truth is that you have not tried to understand, the conversation is already in trouble.
Your child may also be attracted to certain teachings. LDS teaching may seem to offer clear answers about families, the purpose of life, what happens after death, and how to progress spiritually. Teachings about eternal families or a detailed plan of salvation can sound comforting, especially to someone who has not thought deeply about how those teachings compare with the Bible.
That does not mean the differences are small. It means you should understand what your child is seeing before you respond to it.
You might ask:
“What do you admire about him or her?”
“What have you found meaningful about their family or church community?”
“What have you talked about spiritually?”
“Where do you think our beliefs are the same?”
“Where do you think our beliefs are different?”
Those questions are not a trap. Do not ask them like a prosecutor. Ask them because you actually want to understand.
See the Person, Not Just the Religion
It is also important to be curious about the person your child is dating.
They are not merely “the Mormon” in the relationship. They are someone’s son or daughter. They may be sincere, thoughtful, kind, and deeply committed to what they have been taught. They may love their family. They may want to honor God. They may genuinely believe LDS teaching is true and that their church restored what other churches lost.
If you reduce them to their religion, you may miss the person in front of you. And if they sense that you only see them as a problem, they probably will not feel safe enough to have honest spiritual conversations with you.
Try to understand what they may be carrying.
They may assume Christians misunderstand them or attack their faith unfairly. They may feel pressure to please their parents. They may feel pressure to marry in the temple. They may feel pressure to stay worthy, avoid doubts, serve faithfully, and not disappoint the people who love them.
They may also have questions they have never felt safe enough to ask out loud.
That matters.
Your child may not be the only one wrestling with spiritual questions. The person they are dating may also be wondering what is true, what the Bible teaches, and whether there is a safe place to ask honest questions without being judged, mocked, or pressured.
Seeing the person does not mean ignoring the doctrine. The differences still matter. But when you see the person as someone whom God loves and whom you love, your tone will change. You will be less likely to attack and more likely to ask careful questions. You will be better prepared to speak the truth in love.
Keep Jesus as the Main Character
If you want to help your child and the person they’re dating seek truth together, you’ll need to learn. But you don’t need to learn everything at once.
When parents become concerned, it’s natural to start searching for answers. Very quickly, you may find troubling information about LDS history, leaders, temple practices, the Book of Mormon, and changing teachings.
Some of those questions matter. Some may need to be discussed. But they’re rarely the best place to begin.
If you start by trying to prove Mormonism false or embarrassing, the conversation will probably become defensive before it becomes helpful. Your child may feel that you’re attacking the person they love. The LDS person may feel mocked or ambushed. And the most important issue may never be discussed.
Start with the differences that affect salvation. Keep bringing the conversation back to Jesus.
A helpful question to ask is:
What does it take to receive the best God has to give?
That question gets to the heart of the matter.
The Bible’s answer is not first a system, a covenant path, a temple, a level of glory, or a record of personal worthiness. The Bible’s answer is a person.
Jesus gives sinners the best God has to give because Jesus gives sinners himself: his righteousness, his forgiveness, his Father, his Spirit, his resurrection, and eternal life with God.
That is why the most important questions are not merely about what Mormonism gets wrong. The most important questions are about who Jesus is and what Jesus has already done.
Who is God?
Who is Jesus?
What did Jesus accomplish for us?
What is grace?
What gives sinners confidence before God?
These are not side issues. These questions shape everything.
This is where Christian discernment becomes so important. Discernment is not merely asking, “Do I like this person?” or “Does this community feel good?” or “Are these people sincere?”
Those questions matter, but they are not enough. Christian discernment asks, “Is this true? Is this biblical? Does this teaching give me Christ as my complete Savior, or does it leave me looking back at myself?”
So instead of only asking, “What is wrong with LDS teaching?” ask, “What does this teaching have to do with Jesus?” Does it point sinners to his finished work, or back to their own worthiness? Does it give rest to the guilty, or does it leave them wondering whether they have done enough? Does it make Jesus the Savior who accomplished salvation, or the helper who makes salvation possible if we do our part?
That kind of question keeps the conversation focused on what matters most.
Christians and Latter-day Saints often use many of the same religious words, such as Jesus, grace, faith, salvation, and heaven, but they don’t always mean the same thing.
Take grace as one example.
The LDS church’s Gospel Topics entry says grace “refers primarily to enabling power and spiritual healing offered through the mercy and love of Jesus Christ.” Its Bible Dictionary says, “The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength.”
Historic biblical Christianity speaks differently. Grace is God’s undeserved favor for sinners because of Jesus’ finished work.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works”
Ephesians 2:8–9
That difference matters.
Is grace mainly power to help me do my part? Or is grace God’s gift because Jesus has already done everything necessary for me?
That’s not a small difference. That changes where a sinner looks for peace.
A helpful next step is to read 10 Words to Know Before Sharing the Gospel with Mormons. It will help you understand why familiar words may tell very different stories — and why those differences matter so deeply.
As you learn, don’t turn your conversations into research dumps. Information is useful, but information without love can become ammunition. One article, video, or quote rarely changes someone’s mind by itself.
The goal is not to make Mormonism look small. The goal is to help Jesus appear as big, sufficient, gracious, and trustworthy as he truly is.
So don’t make Mormonism the main character.
Let the Bible set the agenda. Let Jesus stay at the center. Keep asking, “How can this help us open the Bible together?”
Your goal is not merely to explain what is wrong. Your goal is to help both of them see what is better: the complete forgiveness, certain hope, and finished salvation Jesus freely gives.
Make Space for the Truth to Be Heard
If you want to keep Jesus at the center, you’ll need more than the right information. You’ll also need a better kind of conversation.
Don’t leave these conversations to random moments of worry, frustration, or surprise. Nor should you seize every opportunity, every meal, every phone call, to discuss what is on your mind, or you may find your child avoiding you altogether. That doesn’t mean you should ignore your concerns, but you should be intentional about when and how those concerns are discussed.
You can lower the pressure without minimizing the seriousness by asking to set aside time to talk about spiritual questions rather than discussing them constantly.
When you do talk, consider whether the person your child is dating should be included. In many situations, that may be wise. It shows that you’re not talking about them behind their back or treating them like a problem to solve. It also gives them the opportunity to explain what they believe in their own words.
It may also be helpful to invite them into your Christian life in ordinary ways. Invite the person your child is dating to join your family for worship, come to a Bible study, or attend other church events. Do not make it a test. Let it be an invitation.
If you are invited to attend LDS services or events, take the opportunity to go as a careful observer. Pay attention to what is taught, what is emphasized, and what is missing. Then talk about it afterward. Ask, “What did you hear?” “What did you notice?” “How did that compare with what the Bible says about Jesus and grace?”
The goal is not to pretend the differences are small. The goal is to understand each other well enough that the truth can be discussed honestly.
Before you begin deeper conversations, agree on a few simple expectations:
No mocking.
No interrupting.
No surprise attacks.
No pressure for instant answers.
Safe doesn’t mean hard questions are off-limits. Safe means hard questions can be asked without ridicule, pressure, punishment, or manipulation.
These conversations may feel heavier than you expect. You may think you are simply asking about doctrine. Still, your child or the person they are dating may hear questions about family loyalty, worthiness, temple marriage, future children, or disappointing people they love. Go slowly enough for those pressures to come into the light.
And do not try to talk about everything in one sitting. In LDS teaching, everything can feel connected: repentance, covenants, temple worship, eternal family, exaltation, and grace. Pick one question and stay with it long enough to understand each other. A good place to begin is with Jesus: who he is, what he has done, and where sinners can find peace with God.
Stay with one question long enough to understand each other. Let your child speak. Let the person they’re dating speak. Open the Bible together. Ask what they hear in the passage. Be willing to say, “Let’s think about that more and come back to it.”
You can’t control what they believe. You can’t force spiritual clarity. You can’t create faith by winning an argument.
But you can help create a setting where God’s Word is heard clearly, honest questions are welcomed, and both people are treated with love.
Choose Support That Keeps You Steady
You don’t need to carry this alone. But you do need to be careful about who helps you carry it.
These conversations can be emotional and exhausting. You may feel calm one day and overwhelmed the next. You may feel hopeful after one conversation and discouraged after another.
That’s why wise support matters.
The best support won’t make you more fearful. It will help you become more prayerful, patient, truthful, and loving. Look for mature Christians who will listen carefully, point you back to Scripture, remind you of Jesus’ grace, and help you speak with care.
Ask them to pray not only for your child, but also for the person your child is dating.
Be careful about voices that feed panic, contempt, gossip, or pressure. You don’t need people who help you rehearse worst-case scenarios. You need people who help you remain steady, humble, and faithful.
If you have other children, don’t assume they’re unaffected. They may have questions too. They may be confused, worried, defensive, or angry. They may also be watching closely to see how you talk about the person their sibling loves.
Make room for their questions. Pray with them. Reassure them. Help them see that Christian concern can be serious without becoming harsh.
You may also benefit from talking with someone who has experience helping Christians navigate conversations with LDS loved ones. These situations can be complicated, and it’s wise to learn from people who have walked with others through them.
The goal is not to gather people who will help you win a conflict. The goal is to receive support that helps you keep loving, speaking truthfully, and trusting Jesus.
Remember Who Saves
This may take longer than you hoped.
If your child begins to see the differences more clearly, they may feel torn. They may love the person they’re dating. They may wonder what this means for marriage, family, future children, and the relationship itself.
If the LDS young man or woman begins asking hard questions or experiencing doubts, the cost for them may feel even greater. They may fear disappointing family, losing community, changing future plans, or losing their identity.
Even when someone wants truth, facing hard questions can feel frightening.
So don’t rush the process. And don’t confuse your urgency with God’s absence.
God can use even this difficult situation to bring hidden questions into the light, expose false hopes, open his Word, and draw people to Jesus.
There may be conversations that seem to go nowhere. There may be seasons when they don’t want to talk. There may be moments when you wonder whether anything is changing.
Don’t give up hope.
After Jesus’ disciples asked, “Who then can be saved?” Jesus answered, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:25–26).
That promise doesn’t depend on your perfect words, perfect timing, or perfect strategy.
God is able to do what you can’t do.
So keep loving them. Keep praying for them. Keep speaking the truth with patience.
And keep pointing to Jesus.
Helpful Next Steps
You don’t need to figure this out all at once. Start with one next step that helps you become calmer, clearer, and better prepared for honest conversations.
Start with familiar words.
Read 10 Words to Know Before Sharing the Gospel with Mormons to understand why words like Jesus, grace, faith, salvation, and heaven may mean different things in LDS teaching and historic biblical Christianity.
Understand the bigger framework.
Watch Mormonism’s Plan of Salvation to understand how LDS teaching explains God, salvation, ordinances, worthiness, eternal life, and eternal marriage.
Learn how to speak with love and clarity.
Use Build Bridges Not Barriers to learn how to speak with truth and love instead of fear, pressure, or argument.
Get help for the long road.
The Friends and Family Course is designed for Christians who have a close relationship with someone who is LDS and want help navigating those conversations with patience, clarity, and care.
Talk with someone.
If this relationship is moving toward baptism, engagement, marriage, or deep spiritual confusion, reach out. You don’t have to walk through this alone.
Free Guide
My Child is Dating a Mormon
Whether you're reading today, praying tomorrow, or preparing for your next conversation, this printable guide is designed to be a resource you can return to again and again.