Christmas naturally points us to the heart of the gospel: God gave us his Son as a gift. For Christians, that gift means joy, freedom, and peace. But for many of our Mormon friends, Christmas can feel like the opposite. Instead of being a season of rest and celebration, it becomes another reminder that they aren’t measuring up. Behind the smiles, they may be carrying guilt and pressure to “Do more. Work harder. Be better.”
Janet, an ex-Mormon, once felt that way every December. She shares how she viewed Jesus as a “guilt gift” rather than a true gift of unconditional love. Her story will give you a glimpse into the burden many Mormons quietly carry and encourage you to share with them the hope and joy we have in Christ.
“Everyone loves the hymn ‘Joy to the World!’ I did not.”
When I thought about Jesus’ birth at Christmas, work, duty, and obligation came to mind. But joy? Never, not even once.
How could I rejoice? Jesus was the perfect example; I could never measure up to him. The gift I received each Christmas was only guilt.
The Christmas messages that I heard were, “Bring your best gifts to Jesus. Follow his perfect example. Strive to become more like him.” I wanted to “light the world,” but there wasn’t any light in my heart to shine. Guilt had smothered me.
Do more. Work harder. Be better.
Don’t get me wrong. I was thankful that Jesus came at Christmas as part of the package deal “plan of salvation.” But, I viewed Jesus as a “guilt gift” rather than a treasure to hold near and dear.
The gift of Jesus was like an exercise program and weights set I once received for my birthday. That thoughtful gift from my husband said to me, “Follow the example of these fabulously fit people, and you too can become fit and beautiful.” First, I felt guilty for not being in better shape. But worse, I wondered if my husband’s love was conditional. I feared he would only keep loving me if I became a better, fitter person.
Do more. Work harder. Be better.
A gift that brings guilt is not a gift at all; it is an oppressive obligation.
Because of the witness of Christian friends, I know this now. Jesus is not a “guilt gift.” He is not a spiritual fitness coach or taskmaster. He didn’t give me the gift of a plan or an example. Instead, he gave me the gift of himself.
His work. His perfection. His righteousness.
Because of Jesus’ gift, Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally. Therefore, I can rejoice and sing, “The glories of his righteousness and the wonders of his love!”
— Janet, Ex-Mormon
The Gift That Is Finished
Janet’s story is a reminder that Jesus didn’t come to hand us a spiritual to-do list. He came to give us a finished gift. On the cross, he declared, “It is finished” (John 19:30). The Bible doesn’t say, “The wages of sin is death, but the opportunity to earn eternal life is through Jesus.” Instead, it says, “The gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).
Mormonism often presents Jesus as the starter kit—as if his life and death simply set you on the path, and now it’s up to you to finish the journey. But the true Christmas message is that Jesus is not part of the gift. He is the whole gift. His perfect life and sacrificial death have already accomplished everything necessary for eternal life! There is nothing left to add.
How You Can Share This Christmas
This Christmas, you have a natural opportunity to point your Mormon friends to the true gift of Jesus. Even when they look like everything is fine, their hearts may be weighed down by the question, “Am I doing enough?”
A gentle question can open the door:
- “What does Joy to the World mean to you at Christmas?”
- “What do you think it means that the angels called Jesus’ birth good news of great joy?”
- “When you think about Jesus as God’s gift, what does that mean for you personally?”
- “What does it take to get the best God has to give and live with him eternally?”
Don’t feel pressured to have all the answers—just listen. Their answers may reveal burdens or fears. That’s your chance to lovingly share that Jesus didn’t come to bring guilt or obligation. He came to bring joy, peace, and unconditional love—for them, and for you.
This Christmas, may your conversations shine with the wonder of the greatest gift ever given: Jesus himself.
