Even if you haven’t had any spiritual conversations, most won’t be threatened if you ask them simple factual questions about Mormonism. Questions like the following:

• Were you raised LDS or did you convert? If raised, how many generations have been LDS? If converted, did you have any previous religious background? Depending on your relationship, you could ask them why they converted but you might want to hold that for later.
• What are your church services like?
• You could ask about one of their practices you might have heard about (i.e. Family home evenings; Be sure to avoid any topics or practices that might come off as an attack, like temple garments.)
• If there is an LDS temple in the area, you could ask them what the difference is between LDS temples and churches.

Listen carefully. Often their response will lead you into asking a related question. Be careful, however, that you don’t come off as interrogating them. Be sure to share something about yourself. For example, you could describe your church service to them. Or tell them about your family’s religious history. Be sure to make it a genuine conversation.

Since many Mormons are reluctant to share any negative feelings about Mormonism with non-Mormons, you need to be attentive. Observe both what excites them about Mormonism and what, if anything, troubles them. Listen carefully even to passing comments as they can give you a glimpse into their world.

We encourage you to make a written profile of them. More than one person, by looking back on the notes they made, remembered something which became significant to know or discuss. We’ve provided a worksheet on page 21 of the Friends & Family Course Workbook to help get you started.

You won’t be able to fill out the profile all at once. Although you will already know some answers, you might never even have thought about others. Make it a goal to learn a little bit more each week. Most likely, your friend will respond positively because you are showing interest in what they do and are listening carefully to what say.